Submission and the Christian Wife, Part 3

The Heart of the Matter

"Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." --Ephesians 5:22-24

Before we get to the heart of the matter, a disclaimer: I am not some sort of super-wife or super-Christian. I am far from it. Anyone who knows me can attest to that!

It is simply my heart's desire to be the kind of woman, wife and mother that God wants me to be. If you are a Christian, your desire, I am sure, is no different. So, now to the heart....

Paul, in his exhortation for wives to submit to their husbands did not give "5 steps to submission" or a play-by-play as to how to be a submissive wife. There are many reasons for this. Mainly, if we had a step by step how to, then we would rely on ourselves instead of the power of the Holy Spirit to do this thing that we ought to do. Because of this, I cannot tell you what submission to your husband should look like in detail. I CAN tell you that submission is not just an action, but also a matter of the heart. If we are going through the motions of "letting our husbands have their way" and yet in our hearts we are bitter, resentful rebels, what good does the outward obedience actually do? The Lord desires our hearts to beat in obedience to his word. Outward display does nothing to make us right before God.

If this passage from Ephesians disturbs you; if Paul's admonition to submit to your husband causes a gut reaction of anger and rebellion, then you need to be on your face before God. Submission goes against the grain. We cannot do it on our own. Our hearts cannot change without the power of God being made manifest in our lives. Trust in the Lord and cling to Him, for he CAN do it!

Submitting to my husband is not always easy; but the rewards I have reaped from it have been worth every struggle. Grappling with God on the issue of submission has drawn me closer to Him and has taught me how much I desperately NEED Him to work in my life. We all desperately need more of the Lord.

One final note: If you are reading this, and you are in an abusive relationship, then PLEASE seek help. Find a safe place to go. Abuse can cloud your thinking to the point where you feel that if you only submitted more or did this or that, then the abuse would not happen. That simply is not true. If you attend a church, talk to a trustworthy and mature believer and ask for help. Submission should never be a shield for abuse.